Changing the way I think for good.

How far we go is determined by how far ahead we think, There's a reason some people fear change: It can be scary. It can also be uncomfortable, nerve wrecking and potentially embarrassing too. But that doesn't mean you should avoid change. I also think the fear of change can keep you from reaching your full potential can affect your personal finances , both at work and in your personal life. ‎

If we think on a ‘pay as you go’ basis, we will keep getting slammed by circumstances we did not see coming. A lot of people have no idea why their finances are the way they are. They are doing the best they know how to do, but somehow each month seems to look exactly the same as the one before. If we don’t look up and look ahead, we will keep running into things, including repeating financial mistakes.‎‎

‎The conventional wisdom treats change as an evolutionary, incremental process. It can work that way, but here is the danger: The world that we live in today is making tectonic changes, and puny, so incremental responses will only leave us further and further behind.‎

Thinking for a change, there's this book by John Maxwell, it practically changed the way I think for good. ‎

I have often wondered why we make unwise decisions. Why a man quarrels with the wife and drives out of the house , Why do we indulge in instant gratification when we know tomorrow is sure to come? Why do we try to look good on the outside by making poor financial decisions huh .‎

‎The key is rigor and intention. If I truly intend to change something in my life, then it starts with how I speak about it. It’s not "if" I make the change, it's "when" I make it. That simple little tune up sets the mind to work in a different context.

"I will never get this done," is a belief that may be easy to fall into, but it is one that sets up failure and provides an excuse to quit. "This is a challenge, but I will get there," is a different response to the same circumstances. What matters is the story we tell ourselves about the circumstances. ‎

 I feel the reason is because consequences are often slow in showing up. There is a big gap time between an action and the result at the long run,  It is not on our face, so we hardly reckon with it. ‎

So many of our people in power embezzle public funds. And  the culture of impunity makes them think they have immunity. They don’t see their reputation becoming soiled down the lane when they get caught and possibly put in jail. 

Even when they seem to get away with it, they don’t see the spiritual consequences. They miss the fact that their children will pay for it( sins of the father) They may become wayward, a nuisance to society, on drugs, go mental; the money gets squandered and such ‘riches’ hardly get passed from generations to generation. They don’t see the anguish ahead at the moment. At our level now, we just think what we do does not matter, but it truly does. 

How far ahead we think determines what we see. What we see influences what we do. When we think short term, we see only a part of the picture. We don’t see the big picture. We don’t see possible job loss, brain drain, possible health challenges, emergency expenses, family challenges etc. We are so focussed in winning the battle that we may loose the war. We feel so happy that we caught the rat, forgetting that our house is on fire. We become so focussed on the urgent that we miss the important.‎

My adage is that competence is domain specific. That someone was a great sales person doesn't mean she will make a great sales manager. Why? This is because Selling and managing are two distinct domains of competence.

Look at Michael Jordan — arguably the world's best basketball player. He is a pretty good golfer and, at best, a semi-pro baseball player. Competence is domain specific. So we should be determined to make a change and work towards it. ‎‎‎ My favorite current example is the new fad around [employee] engagement. This is a total waste of time and money as it is a symptom, not a cause. The cause is degenerative moods. People who are living in resignation, resentment, complacency or distrust have no capacity to be engaged in things and no amount of "happy clappy" work is going to change that. This is the stuff of novelty.

Innovation is the key to the future. Innovation is an incremental or radical improvement to a product or process that shifts the practices of some community. Most organizations are terrible at innovation as they don't know how to generate it. Instead, they wait for it to happen — not a great strategy. ‎

‎ My question is : Why is the conventional wisdom surrounding change wrong? What's the right way to make change happen?‎

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Swallowing of Semen very vital for Women

I was surprised when i heard it, made my research and found out it is very true and by experience too. According to research,semen seems to be the most sorted ingredient used for soap and body cream, and Its nutrient-rich composition now gives the consumer luscious hair, radiant skin and clinical benefits by improving medical conditions, such as depression and morning sickness. so now this scientific breakthrough answeres the  question we women and guys all around the world have been asking, if is it better to spit or swallow it?

Even some men think and say its crazy, but with what i found out i think its cool but the question is can i try it ?It’s no secret that many men enjoy oral sex, but what about their female partners? There are a number of opinions regarding this topic in the female community, ranging from if we should plug our noses, close our eyes, and swallow the cum back like a tequila shot, or ignore the courtesies and spit it out. It all depends on what you feel comfortable doing, but for those of you who swallow or want to try, there are ways to make the experience more pleasurable and then according to some studies, it can be one way of getting your daily intake of nutrients. There are plenty resources out there to help improve the taste of semen, the most popular is fruit, like pineapples.

Since, sperm already contains its own natural sweetener, fructose, as well as ascorbic acid and proteins, sexperts have now suggested that men should eat more fruits with natural sugar, like apples and mangoes, to enhance the sweetness of their ejaculate. They also encourage them to drink plenty of water to flush out the toxins that could be contributing to the bitter and extra salty taste. And that mint and cinnamon can enhance the flavour, but due to the high levels of sulphur, doctors now suggest they should avoid foods like garlic and onion. Other foods that may not be palatable are cauliflower and broccoli because these vegetables cannot only ruin the taste of semen, but produce unpleasant smelling fluid as well. Instead, substitute with celery, wheatgrass, and parsley as the chlorophyll in these vegetables can improve sperm’s sweetness. To motivate your man to undergo what seems like a big lifestyle change, you just have to do it with him...  Men should understand that these steps lead to an improved quality of health and will also enhance their partner’s sexual experience, and therefore enhance theirs. So cum on and get with the program!

Again,  Just as foods affect the taste of semen, semen can improve the taste of food. The idea of adding a bodily fluid in your food might be hard to digest initially, until you consider all the health benefits of doing so. Think of it as a spinach-banana smoothie: the initial reaction to adding a vegetable, especially a leafy one, doesn’t seem too appealing until you try it. I once read that dishes prepared with semen are the same thing(yet to try it though) , and like those spinach smoothies, the fluid has explosive nutritious properties. Semen is composed of some of the following nutrients: fructose, ascorbic acid, zinc, cholesterol, protein, calcium, citric acid, magnesium, vitamin. 

New research in the scientific community has determined that oral ingestion of sperm can combat depression, due to hormones present in seminal fluids. Bio-psychologist Gordon G. Gallup Jr., believes semen functions to improve a woman’s mood, so that she experiences more amicable feelings toward the male counterpart. Serving as an aphrodisiac, it’s no wonder dessert recipes are calling for a dash of semen!

And for future reference, semen is also a natural cure for morning sickness. Biologists agree that the female body initially rejects the pregnancy due to the foreign nature of the semen inside her. The body undergoes this process by inducing the woman to vomit. Studies show that ingesting sperm mediates the affect and reasons that by introducing more sperm into the body, the body will adapt and discontinue this rejection process. Researchers suggest ingesting the sperm of the father is the ideal solution, as swallowing ejaculate of a different man can actually increase the likelihood of miscarriages. From experience it smootens the face, I rarely miss it. 

coping with frustration

How to Cope With Frustration

I know that almost everyone is familiar with feelings of frustration, whether coming from your efforts falling short of achieving what you have aimed  or someone else’s efforts failing to meet your needs. Now Coping with frustration is all about recognising the sources that trigger the feeling and using the proper system / techniques to choose a different emotional response.‎‎

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‎ Acute Instances of Frustration

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The first we should understand is our triggers.

‎ A trigger is an element in your environment that causes a sudden emotional reaction in you that is disproportionate to the trigger itself. And there are also some common triggers, but for sure all of us has different set of things that causes these frustrated feelings.‎

• Like do you get frustrated when you are forced to wait and do nothing? For example, hold-up ( especially lagos roads) or waiting in a check-out line.
• Again, do you also get frustrated when people do not meet your personal expectations or disrupt your work? For instance, someone sending you a text or email that throws off your day or makes you imbalance .
• Even financial status/sex/home /neighbours can trigger it. 
• Do you get frustrated with difficult problems?‎

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The next step should be for us to avoid our triggers if possible.

‎ Knowing what tends to touch a nerve or what will get us pissed will help us recognise when these feelings are likely to strike and avoid the trigger as often as possible.‎ Triggers I know  are automatic reactions, so if we know our triggers it can help us control it when we are presented with one.

• For example, keep your phone on silent when you need to work without been distracted or get up and take a break from a difficult work , it helps to relax the nerve. ‎
• If you simply cannot avoid the trigger, try your best to realize that triggers are themselves thought patterns that you can choose to allow or not. So I feel ‎Once we are triggered,we should take our time to think rather than reacting impulsively.‎

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Here is another I have tried : Learn to Practice stress-management breathing.‎ 

I once read that Relaxed, regulated breathing changes the chemistry of the brain so activity is dominated by the thoughtful neocortex, not the fight-or-flight amygdala.

So if you do this ‎consciously it can help you to avoid impulsive action or rash words on people or even transfer aggression . Taking a Deep breath‎ before you act out of anger or frustration helps, so just pause and a take a deep breath. Count to four slowly as you breathe in, then count to four again as you breathe out. Repeat until you feel calm, may work for nearly every one except those with quick temper. ‎

Another one is Managing  your expectations of others. Other people can be very frustrating, because humans can be amazing and wonderful. People can also be irrational, self-centered, unfair, and inconsistent. And trust me It can be infuriatingly frustrating. You can always control your own reaction, but not their behavior.‎

• For instance, say you have a friend who is always late for everything but is otherwise a great friend. Manage your expectation by realizing that you simply cannot make your friend show up on time, but you can control what you invite her to. If you know that punctuality is one of your triggers, then avoid putting her in situations where promptness is an issue.‎ That way you have helped yourself. 
• And we should try to except more from people. Because when they disappoint you, you get frustrated and transfer aggression on innocent people, I have friends like that and I manage them too. ‎

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This is very important, ‎Check in with yourself. Frustration is a stressor that causes the release of adrenaline and other neurochemicals, which can act together to make you act impulsively and even aggressively and this happens nearly everyday if you give it chance. ‎Before you shout, make a rude gesture, or insult someone, stop and mentally go back over the relevant events. Check that your response is neither excessive nor insufficient , try to see if the fault is not coming from you before you take irrational decisions . The goal is not to let others walk all over you, and you too try not to over-dominating and walking all over others. As for me i ask myself these questions to help me figure out how to respond to the current situation:

• Are things really as I perceive them? What might I be missing here?
• Will what happened now matter in a day? A week? A year?
• Can I express my concerns without hostility?
• Is there information I am trying to share especially while chatting ?
• Am I as interested in seeing the situation clearly as I am in my own reaction or being "right"?
• Am I interested in the other person’s needs? Can we cooperate and so on ?‎

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And then again view frustration as "delayed success" instead of seeing it as "failure".

‎How you frame your situation will change your reaction and emotions. If you see your situation as a setback that you will get over, then you know, you will soon be over come it. 

Some people have come of age and yet no husband while some after youth service no job or handwork , they should just see it as delayed success and not failure. That way they can work towards achieving their goal in no time. ‎

• For instance, say you’re saving for a new car but have to take some money from the fund to fix your current car. Instead of fixating on not getting the new vehicle when you’d want, remind yourself that it will only set you back a month or two and that you will overcome the obstacle simple, so it's a thing of the mind, orientation and mentality. 

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‎        Everybody experiences frustration occasionally . It's that burning feeling in your gut when things aren't going your way. By identifying what causes frustration, however, a person is better equipped to deal with it before it turns to full blown anger.

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